Thinker. Dreamer. Lover

New Year, new beginnings. I’ve decided to play a more active role in the world of online media become an auteur as opposed to just a consumer; this is partially motivated by my relatively new job in social networking. Besides I think sharing my wisdom, knowledge and insight to the world will be enlightening. Of course this would require an audience. Are you there God? It’s me Ana.

The subject of my blogs will always be communication- in one form or another. I think it is the basis for all of humanity’s interactions. All of humanity’s greatest man-instigated tragedies, wars, revolutions, even the scandal surrounding Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky are as a direct result of misunderstood, poorly expressed or simply lacking active communication.

So let’s take for example my current social predicament. I believe I have a date this evening with a certain unknown male that- as ashamed as I am to admit – I have “met”  online. Now I say I believe I have a date because although I sent an email confirming the time- 6:30 this evening- and place, I have not received an email response affirming these details. It is almost 4:15pm. I mentioned this to my colleague who has the great pleasure of hearing all of my rants and raves and incessant frustrations about my social life,  including obviously the latest; his response? Maybe he’s busy.

Since when is busy an excuse for not actively communicating? Never. We do it all the time but frankly it is just not acceptable. Being busy keeps you from sending a quick message? Really? In this world of all pervasive media- from various outlets on your computer to right at the touch of your on your mobile device- you have so many options. Send an email, send a chat, message someone on FB, send a text message, use the Ping app on your iPhone. The technology to communicate is with you everywhere and at all times and the only acceptable moment when not receiving an active response from an outward piece of communication is during hours when people are sleeping!

What makes my situation particularly irksome is the fact that I had also shared with said presumed date  my phone number to contact me  “just in case”. Therefore the lack of active response acknowledging our plans and confirming his attendance further leads to speculation that the message he is is sending is “I’m not sure I can make it”. In fact I do not even know if I should bother showing up for our scheduled encounter. After all it is reasonable to imagine that I should not be expecting that we meet this evening. There has been no clear communication confirming. Sure there have been a slew of prior emails postulating we meet, even locking down one of two days but the final confirmation response has not been sent.

You’ll notice that I’ve identified communication as active, I should clarify that the sort of communication I am referring to right now– that is the non-response- is passive communication. This is because despite not receiving a response, communication has occurred in passive form. There is a message that has been sent from this individual to me in the form of not responding. I’m not exactly sure what that message is. As my colleague has stated it could well be “I’m busy”. However since the communication is passive it becomes poorly interpreted by the receiver- yours truly- and in my case is construed as “I’m not sure I will be able to attend”.

So the next time you decide to ignore someone’s email, text message, phone call, etc. think about what you are saying to them and how they might perceive that message. Because even in NOT answering  back you are in fact communicating.